Cage of Stars by Jacquelyn Mitchard

Instead of drowning myself in self-pity and worry over my grades, I resolved to making better use of my sembreak time by cleaning up my study table (which I share with my sister). Majority of the table was occupied by my possessions and I never realized how ugly-cluttered it was until I took a picture of it (and posted it on Instagram):

Upon doing the "great clean-up", I got a couple of interesting finds, stuff which I hadn't given attention to in a loooong time. Among them was this book I used to read back in 2nd year high school

*accdg to my memory* 

It's about Roni (short for Veronica) and her two younger sisters, innocently playing hide and seek around their home one day. Their schizophrenic neighbor, Scott Early, got in their house and, tragically, lacerated the 2 little girls' throats... sending the both of them quickly to death. Roni was scarred for life.  

Roni was around 12 or 13 years old when this happened, if I'm not mistaken. The novel went on to tell us the story of Roni as she, in all her brokenness, went through the next years --- controversy of the crime, moving on with the help of her parents, mainly, "finding love in a hopeless place" hehe, going to college and most interestingly: her constant desire for revenge to the one who killed her two sisters.  

I don't know for you, but I think it's important detail that they were Mormons. It's a religion I've never come across with until I read the book. Even if people around, like her parents, were already willing to forgive and move on, she just COULDN'T feel and do the same thing. To me, it was totally understandable.  Forgiveness in that kind of situation would be most impossible. But as the story went deeper into their lives, through the years, changes inevitably unfolding... Somehow, I unexpectedly discovered something more. It gave me a new light to the true value of forgiveness. 

I remember grabbing this book just because it had a pink on it and I was so mystified (yes, mystified) by the word "Schizophrenia". I couldn't even pronounce it properly back then! But now that I'm in college, this word would definitely rank as one of the 'most-uttered'. As discussed in my Psychiatry class, Schizophrenia is a brain disease which causes an affected person's thinking, perception, behaviors etc to be very abnormal and potentially dangerous not only to self, but to others as well. The man was trapped in a dysfunctional mind... how was he to overpower that?

Sobrang nadala talaga ako, as usual, sa mundo nila. It felt like I was there too as Roni grew up, with her inner battles and all. That is, until I had to say goodbye when she became a doctor and happily had a family of her own (Ooopss, spoiler hihi)

I never knew I'd be gaining so much from a little act of getting a book for a supposed pleasure-reading. If you're not so tamad, I suggest you read it too :)

*transition over here*

Before I finally end, I'd like to tell you also how the discovery of this old book from my shelf was some form of a gentle reminder to me of God's redemption through His son Jesus Christ. Now that's ultimate love & forgiveness right there!! 

I guess I shouldn't trifle so much about my grades after all. If there's anything among the countless of good things one has to know about God, it's that He's merciful and forgiving.

Psalms 86:5 

For you, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy to all them that call on you.

Matthew 21:22

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Is there anything bothering you today? Try opening up your mind and ask God to guide you through. God bless you, reader!